Do you ever think about what genderbent you would look like
i thought perez hilton was paris hiltons damaged and slightly less famous brother
No, Because they are nobles in revolution-era France and will be guillotined.
you must be fun at parties
When you have a group project but don’t know what you’re talking about
every now and my cat does something very human like and i get very nervous and ask him “are you a person trapped in a cat’s body. or did you choose this body” very seriously to see if this time he will communicate with me and he always kinda looks to the side and then does what i imagine to be a person doing a bad impression of a cat and it makes me so nervous cuz i do way too much weird shit around my cat for him to actually be a dude pretending to be a cat
my director yesterday was like ‘alright grab the nearest hottest person and kiss them on the lips’ as a joke so i said ‘haha i can’t kiss myself’ and no one heard except this one guy and so he stole my joke and shouted ‘I CAN’T KISS MYSELF’ really loud and everyone laughed and that’s the first time i killed man… just kidding it wasn’t the first.
$20 for a selfie with me
but I can go to the dumpster for free
So every morning I get off the train and start my 20 minute walk to work, and there’s this guy who’s always like 3 steps ahead of me and always beats me to the street corner bc I get stopped by the light and he passes it. but today I was ahead of him for the first time and he RUNS in front of me, turns around and goes “I’ve been winning for 2 months now, can’t stop now, have a good day, see you tomorrow.” tmrw I swear i’m wearing running shoes to work.